What High Schoolers Are Taught About WW II That Is Complete Bull Shit!

How many movies have you seen, even in this day of age, that deal with World War number two? W have Pearl Harbor (horrible movie that dealt more with Kate Beckinsale being torn between two hot guys than the actual attack) Saving Private Ryan, Thin Red Line, Saving Private Ryan, Schindler's List, The Longest Day, and many, many, many more films that deal with one war that the United States was in four four years. I am actually convinced that it would take more than four years to see every movie ever made about those four years.

Was it important? Well, DUH! Of course it was! We were up against a horrible fucking dictator that was killing his own citizens left and right and wanted to take over the world! (And ironically enough we were allies with a man that did the exact same fucking things!)

Remember Me?

But even though we have movie after movie about one war, many Americans have the wrong ideas about what actually went on during the war. Between the conspiracies and good old fashioned propaganda, many people don't know what actually happened during the most IMPORTANT war in the 20th century.

Myth #1- America Did Not Know About What Was Happening To The Jews Until After The War.

Truth is, yeah, we really did. Eleanor Roosevelt begged her husband to allow more Jewish refugees into the country because of the atrocities they were facing. FDR, however, had a lot of anti-Semites in his own cabinet and ignored the pleas of his wife. 

America also had the plans of Auschwitz while they were building a goddamn railroad to the place! One strategically placed bomb could have at least delayed the transport of millions to the death camp, but America had more important things to worry about. (Like imprisoning Japanese-Americans.) 

But through intelligence a lot of people in the political system knew what was happening to the Jews. But if the American political machine was so clueless about the Holocaust, then why were soldiers ordered to go to concentration camps to "liberate" them? We knew. Well, not the average American, but the Americans with power? Yeah they knew!  

Why Did We Not Learn About This?

Simple, we were the victors. Yes, it is true that the American people as a whole did not know what happened in the concentration camps until the Nuremberg Trials, but the president and other higher up's in the American political machine did. But if we taught 10th graders that we knew about the slaughter of millions of people and really did nothing to stop it, it would make America look bad! So it is better that they don't know. We can't have anything that makes America look bad in our schools. (America... Fuck Yeah!) 

Myth #2- World War II "started" in 1939

So technically this is true. But the "war" that started in 1939 was about as much of a "war" as America's involvement in Libya today. Meaning, not much! In 1939 Great Britain did in fact declare war on Germany and vice-verse. But it prompted a year long stint of doing absolutely fucking nothing! That year long period is now known today as the "phony war". During the first days of WWII the English government was trying desperately to convince its citizens that they were not heading toward another World War.

Hence, a sign that would spawn a thousand memes

So during the first, of what would be known as WWII, England, and its vast Empire, did nothing! They did nothing but live in denial that they were in a fucking war. But then Churchill came into power and in 1940 Great Britain actually began to fight in a war that they declared almost a year before.

Why Did We Not Learn About This?

My best guess is that it doesn't matter that much to Americans. A lot of Americans still think that WWII did not start until we were brought into it, in 1941. (Two whole years before war was actually declared.) In American History we don't really care what happened before our country joined any conflict, just what happened once we got involved. And even in World History, if it is taught in America it is still going to be centered around America.

Myth #3- The D-Day Invasion Ultimately Ended The War In Europe 

Did the D-Day invasion help the Allied cause of the war? Yes. Was it the reason that Hitler decided he could never win the war and end up eating buck shot? NO! The truth is that the real deciding factor of the war in Europe was not the invasion on the western front, but rather the invasion on the eastern front. In a battle known as Stalingrad, Russian troops entered Berlin and kept bombing and fighting until it was clear that there was no fucking hope for Germany. So yeah, the liberation of France did suck for Germany but it would take a dictator just as evil (if not more) as Hitler, that did not care how many of his soldiers died, to really beat Hitler at his own game.

Still me bitches!!!!!

Why Did We Not Learn About This?

Two words- Cold War! Immediately after WWII the Soviet Union went from an Allie to an enemy. Stalin was so hated that Churchill tried to convinced the recently conquered Germany and his own country of Great Britain to declare war on the Soviet Union. But everyone was tired of war at that point, and Churchill even lost his re-election bid as Prime Minister of Great Britain. And Truman knew that the American people would not be happy about being on the winning side of one war just to jump into another one. But Fascism was no longer the dirty word in America, Communism was! To prove that point we would enter into two more wars and a few other "conflicts" just to show our disapproval at that particular political ideology.

Myth #4- More Deaths Occurred On The Axis Side Than The Allied Which Is Why We Won The War  

This absolutely sounds logical! After all, the deciding factor of WWI came down to whose side lost the most people, but in WWII, not so much. In fact there were a lot more deaths on the Allied side than there were on the Axis side. In fact of all the people who died (military and civilian) the Axis powers suffered a 5,930,000 loss,  while the Allied powers suffered a 18,587,000 loss of lives. Just to help you understand those figures more, here is a nice pie graph to help you compare those numbers:

This graph shows the percentage of the populations of the Allied and Axis powers that was killed during WWII. It shows that Allies lost not only more military lives, but also more civilian lives than the Axis powers. But we all know that the Allied side won the war, so it would only be logical that they would have suffered the least amount of casualties. That is a logical conclusion, but look at the bar graph below: (it repeats the above pie graph.) 

 China was under heavy attack from Japan which is why they had such a high civilian casualty rate. But the most people, military and civilian, died in the Soviet Union (who during the war was on our side) than any other country. At this point you have to remember that Stalin is credited to be responsible for more deaths than Hitler. (And these estimates include the millions that dies in the Holocaust. So yes, Stalin really was more evil than Hitler!)

Yep, that explains his logic perfectly!! 

Why Did We Not Learn About This?

Chances are you actually fucking did. Even though the Cold War tried to downplay the Soviet Union's role in the victory in Europe, America has never had any problems telling you what an evil FUCK Stalin was. Chances are you were just not paying attention because your teacher did not use the word fuck as often as I do. 

And even though it has no bearing to this post I would like to present a few more Stalin Memes. Enjoy!

    

 

  

Are We Living In A Dystopian Future We Were Warned About In Novels? Yes, Yes We Are!

I like to write (obviously) but it also goes without saying that I like to read. One of my favorite types of books are the books that make our future look grim, deadly, controlling, and fearful. I guess you can say I am morbid like that. Some well known ones are Fahrenheit 451, 1984, and Brave New World.

And this book series. Maybe you have heard of it?

I don't know if it is the zombie-like existence of humans, or the wacky fashions these books always have us imagine, but I like reading about a civilization that is being controlled and manipulated. Where freedom is a bad word and you do what you are told, don't ask questions, and "get back to work you little shit!".

Some people think we are heading toward a 1984 type of existence. Where censorship is the rule, you are told what to think, when to think, and Big Brother is watching you.

Pretty fucking scary!!

But have no fear, because despite the warnings we are being given by extreme right-wingers, we are not heading toward a future of Big Brother. But we are not heading away from it either. I have a theory (if you have been reading my other posts you are probably beginning to see a pattern here) that we are heading toward a wonderful mixture of all these delightfully terrifying futures. 

Trust me when I say that I do not think most governments are brilliant. Hell we build entertainment platforms just to make fun of government in this country. (Thank God we still can. For now... DUN DUN DUN) However, they are sometimes not completely fucking stupid. I highly doubt the powers the be, or the powers that will one day be, will pick up 1984 and think, "Holy Shit-Nuts this is a great Fucking idea! We should totally do this, because I am sure that this book (that was first published in 1949) has NEVER before been read. These people are sitting ducks for mind control and they won't even know what is happening". Yeah, like I said, they are not totally brain dead. However, after reading the books listed above I cannot help but see some similarities between those realities, and ours. And because we live in an instant gratification society (something that will be discussed later!) I will share the eerie connections between the land of make believe and the land of the free. 

The Hunger Games

Just for the sake of time and because I don't want to give away spoilers to those who didn't want to read the trilogy but are patiently waiting for all them to come out on DVD, I am only going to focus on the first book. Because it is already out on DVD. This is the most recent published of all the books so we have not had the passage of time to compare those books to our lives the way we can the other books. So I don't have as much insight to this one. I wanted to include it, not because of what it predicts, but because of where author Suzanne Collins got the idea from. She claims that she was flipping through her television and noticed the invasion of Iraq showing on television and a reality show where people competed. Hence, a book trilogy based on the idea of killing people in a game on live television for the entertainment of other people. Sure you can dismiss this idea and think this would never happen and curl up with your blankie and rock yourself to sleep tonight, but remember that history does have this bad habit of repeating itself.  

Sweet dreams.

Fahrenheit 451

In this "universe" firefighters do not put out fires, they start them. And what are they burning? Books! (Seriously, who didn't see that one coming?) But, fortunately for us we do not have fire fighters pull into our driveways to set our goddamn houses on fire!

On the other hand, how bad could it be? 

But what they do have is a society that is engrossed in mass media and technology. Which, of course, the government uses to shape the culture and thinking of the people. Ray Bradbury envisioned a world that looks pretty close to ours. From flat screen televisions to ear buds, our technology of today is very similar to the technology in the novel. And the people in their universe and ours are obsessed with it. (Don't think this is happening? Leave your iPhone home for one day! One day! Do it! I fucking dare you!) But there is still this messy business of book burnings, surely our society would never allow such a thing. Bradbury explains in the novel that the books that were being written were becoming too controversial and upsetting too many people. After all, there was an intense need for political correctness so the books had to go so that they would not "offend" anyone. (Your starting to think now, aren't you?)

1984

When people think of a future that is pretty fucking horrific, this book tends to rear its ugly head. The major themes of this novel is conformity, censorship, and (my favorite) big brother. One of the ways the government in George Orwell's novel controls people, is by constantly watching the people. Surveillance is the issue here. We all know about the controversial Patriot Act that enabled the government to "keep tabs" on "persons of interest". That sounds harmless enough right? Sure, it may sound innocent but it's still government surveillance on private citizens. It is true that some parts of the Patriot Act has expired, some parts are still in use. In 2011 the Supreme Court had to hear a case in which police officers put a GPS tracking device on a suspect's car without a warrant. Thank God the Supreme Court unanimously called bullshit and told them they could NOT do that. In fact, during this controversy Justice Breyer mentioned this famous book. So one point for TEAM FREEDOM!! But we are still learning about ways that the FBI can hack the GPS found in cellphones and other scary stuff that can be abused, IF we let them. 

Brave New World 

This novel by Aldous Huxley is a personal favorite of mine. It has all of the materialistic, egocentric, sex crazed druggies that a girl could ever hope for! I could literally stop right there and already a lot of you are seeing the connection. But for the slower ones, I will break it down. In this "universe" the government pushes consumer consumption and materialism at every corner. They are always telling you to throw out the old, and buy the new. Hey, how did you like the government "stimulus package" that was suppose to keep the economy up by encouraging people to go out and buy shit they don't need? Another reason I love this book is the fact the government does not censor any-fucking-thing. They don't have to. It's an instant gratifying society so the people are gladly censoring themselves. No information is restricted, in fact, there is an information overload. The superficial, easy, and pleasant are what the people want. But we are not so superficial are we? We care. What are the most popular "news" stories right now? "Burger King's answer to the McRib", "Google unveils music streaming service, gaming extras", and " Beam me up popcorn Scotty; space station crew gets 'Star Trek' film before Earthlings" (Okay so I am a nerd and I liked that last story and thought it was really cool but I at least know about all the other shit too.) Meanwhile, in "other" news today there has been more confirmed reports of a SARS like virus that has so far killed 20 people in 6 countries, Spain and Greece are seeing almost daily riots because of their unemployment rates, and more than half of prisoners being held in Gitmo are on hunger strikes because of the appalling conditions. All of that has been reported on TODAY! But hey, at least we know about our fast food, instant streams, and movies!

Hell you don't need to read Fahrenheit 451, 1984, or A Brave New World. Because it seems like we are already living it! And if you are a student in middle school or high school you may never have to! Or The Hunger Games for that matter. Because all of these books have made it on the most challenged and banned books in our country. Yes, the land of the free and the home of the brave are having to take these thought provoking, inspiring, and cautionary tales out of our schools. 

Oh, it's not the government's doing. Like I said, this world is not completely 1984, the people are demanding they be taken out. In 2011 The Hunger Games was the third most banned book in the country. And in the years between 2000-2009 Fahrenheit 451 landed spot number 69 on the 100 most banned books of that decade and A Brave New World landed at spot number 36. And 1984 is number 9 on the top 100 classic books that have been banned. The reasons? Parents have cited complaints ranging from inappropriate language, suggestive sexual themes, and (of course) being anti-religion. 

The truth of the matter is that the government really isn't behind all of these developments. They are doing what is natural, taking the power that we give away freely. We are censoring ourselves, censoring education to the future, and becoming more and more lazy. So maybe you should read these books while you still can, because even though these books were written DECADES AGO we apparently have not learned shit from them. 

 

   
 

A Short History On Why World War I Was Truly A Retarded War

As long as our earliest ancestors began to create tools to kill animals, they found out that they could kill people as well! And this started a killing spree that continues to this day. But as we evolved more and began to form societies and cities we were able to take killing each other to a whole new level. And the birth of wars began.

There have been wars that were waged for freedom, justice, and other noble and worthy causes. One war was to put a stop to an evil dictator that wanted to take over the world, he tortured his own people, and killed a fuck ton of people. Guess who that was! 

No not him.

No, not him either,

getting warmer...

"ME! ME! I'M THE GUY!" 

Just to put things in perspective for you, the guy we did go to war with was not the worst offender pictured here. He is not even in second place. He is in third. Stalin (pictured above Hitler) is second, and Mao Zedong (pictured above Stalin)  was responsible for more deaths than those other two assholes. But I am here to talk about war and Hitler is the only asshole we fought so I digress.

So yes, as sad as it is there are some wars that are necessary and it pains me to have to say that. And then there are wars that have been fought that really makes you say, "Wait, what the hell are even doing here?" I am here to talk about such a war; I am here to talk about the cluster fuck that was World War I. It started in Europe in 1914 and ended in 1918. There were a lot, and I mean A LOT of deaths from this war. There were 37 million military and civilian deaths in this war making it one of the deadliest wars in human history. 

So if that many people died than there had to be a reason, right? Who was the evil bastard that caused all of that? Here is where we get to the cluster fuck part, there really wasn't one. No Hitlers, no Stalins, No Maos, nobody that you can point the finger at and say, "He did it! He started it and it is all his fault!" So what led to World War I? Well a lot actually but I am not going to bore you by going into a lot of detail I am going to kind of sum it all up because if I didn't this would turn into a 400 page book! 

1) Imperialism- now this is a big word that pretty much means "Hey you have a lot of good shit in your country that can make us have more money than God! So, yeah, we will be taking over now and make you apart of our ever growing money-making empire! Thanks, bye". It was because of imperialism that you now have a lot of either English or French speaking African countries. But this made it a competition. It was like playing a game of Risk only with real people and real weapons. So while every European nation was trying to get their hands on every country they came across, countries began to really hate each other.

2)- Militarism-- The Great Industrial Revolution had happened and there was technology available that had never been seen before!! This also meant that we could make weapons that had never been seen before. Because at this point a lot of countries hated each other this led to an arms race. Yes, ladies and gentleman Europe was engulfed in a cold was long before America. They did it first. They're hipsters like that!

3) Nationalism- It means "we are better than you so go suck it!" And this attitude was felt more in the Balkans than most other places.Prior to WWI not one, but two different wars took place in this region. Why? Well you have an area where you have  12 different ethnic groups and more languages, sub-languages, and dialects than is healthy to think about. And most of the people in one ethnic group hated the people of the other ethnic groups. So they didn't want to be in one country with "those" people they wanted to be independent or be in a country that had "their" people. Here is what that region looked like in 1900: 

And here is what it looks like today:  

Well all of this fighting lead to reason number four:

4) Alliances- Anybody who has ever seen a season of "Survivor" knows that this will not work out. They were agreements that pretty much said, "hey if we get attacked you help us and if you get attacked we will help you". It sounds simple, but that meant that if there was any trouble (which obviously there were or I wouldn't be writing this damn thing) EVERYONE had to get involved. Here is how the whole "alliance" thing actually played out: Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia, Russia got involved to defend Serbia. Germany seeing Russia mobilizing, declared war on Russia. France was then drawn in against Germany and Austria-Hungary. Germany attacked France through Belgium pulling Britain into war. Then because Japan had already beat the Russians in the Russo-Japanese War Japan entered the war to fight against the Russians AGAIN! 

"This is making my brain hurt!"

5) A guy got shot- That is what started the actual war! As stated above (don't worry about re-reading it and putting yourself through that mess again) Austria-Hungary was the first to declare war and then everyone was obligated to join. Why did Austria-Hungary declare war? Because Emperor Franz Joseph got really pissed off when his heir to the throne, Archduke Ferdinand, got shot and died. A CIVILIAN shot Ferdinand but the emperor blamed Serbia so he declared war on them, and every-fucking-body else! 

Every reason before now is scholarly opinion that can be backed up by research. If you don't believe me, then look at Wikipedia for Christ's sake. But this last reason is a theory I have developed over the years on my own, and I would like to share it with you 

6) There were too many inbreds and not enough adult supervision- You see there was this queen of England named Victoria who did not just have children, she had fucking litters of them! So by the time all of her children marry and have kids, those kids marry other relatives so as to keep the blue-blood lineage alive. So at this time the ruling families of Europe did not have a gene pool, they had a fucking Jacuzzi. 

Here is how the kaiser of Germany, the tsar of Russia, and the King of Great Britain were related: 

Like I said, too much inbreeding

   

So there you have it. The cluster fuck of World War I. No real bad guy. Just a bunch of bored, rich relatives that wanted more land, more money, and a chance to play with their new toys. The toys being new and better bombs, machine-guns, torpedoes, and tanks! 

Well the Tsar didn't end up well. In fact due to a Communist Revolution he ended up dead. And Germany lost so Wilhelm and his family were no longer allowed to rule Germany. This made it possible for Hitler to eventually seize power and start World War II.  

"I'm back BITCHES!!" 

How To Bag A Prince: Disney Style

It has been brought to my attention that all of my adult life I have been living under a misconception of love. I have been led to believe that love is something that grows out of friendship and takes time. I have been taught that love is not an easy thing. It is something that demands patience, nurturing, understanding, and commitment. Boy was I listening to the wrong people!

Love does require many things but none as difficult as the above mentioned. I finally woke up and saw the light. I know exactly what has been wrong with me. I should have listened to a great philosopher of long ago, Walt Disney. Ol' Walt here has the right idea of what love is all about. I realize I have been taking advice from people whose knowledge of romance could not possibly compare to this wonderful wise man. After all, ALL of his stories have ended in the famous lines of "Happily Ever After".

So I decided it was time to study this astute man for, not just my own sake, but for all of womankind. So after long nights of isolation from my friends and family, and after sleepless nights and taking tedious notes on my yellow legal pad I am ready to hare my findings with the world.

First of all, you must have a wicked stepmother who posses magical powers and wants nothing more than to see your body lying dead in a ditch somewhere rotting. This one was a difficult thing to find seeing as how most stepmothers I know simply try to buy your affection. Not to mention the fact that my mother is alive and married to my father still. But thanks to the new frontier of the World Wide Web I managed to find one.

Here's mine!! 

Next you have (and I mean HAVE) to be beautiful. And I'm not talking about having a "good personality". You have to be physically drop dead gorgeous. If you are not one of the lucky few, start collecting porcelain dolls and cats now to keep you company because you will be alone for the rest of your life.

Once you have the death-loving wicked stepmother and the stunning appearance, you need to have the intellect. This is probably the easiest of the steps. (Or hardest depending on your intelligence to begin with) The key to this feature is simple; DO NOT have one deep and abstract thought in your pretty, little head ever. You are not suppose to be interesting or smart. You are either suppose to be a good little housekeeper or use enough of your precious little brain cells to try and find one. But you may need to ask your husband to write down the questions to ask so you can muster enough intelligence to ask someone if they do windows. That is of course if you can read. If you can't, don't worry, your prince will love you even more for it.

(And now you know how Kristen Stewart landed the role of Snow White)

This next step offers options. You need to have one of these three things; seven little men who are named after common adjectives, a fairy godmother who has a strange fixation for pumpkins, or a posse of what is normally inanimate household products but have the unique ability to sing and dance. Luckily for you all of these things can be found on eBay.

After you have all of the things you need to meet the criteria, sit back and wait for your charming prince. Don't worry about how you will find him, he will find you. Your eyes will meet and you will fall instantly and desperately in love with one another without having to do all those frivolous things young people do these days, like speak to each other. Who needs conversation?

Now you need to have your satanic stepmother put you under some type of spell. That is why in you internet search "possesses magical powers" are important keywords. A stepmother that just wants you dead is not gonna cut it. Once you are under her spell don't worry, you won't die. Stepmothers are quirky like that. They want you dead but they refuse to kill you. They will just make you sleep for a while. But hey, who doesn't need the rest? And you will wake up because their spells can always be broken. But just to be on the safe side don't use the word intelligent in your search.

Coming to a prison near you!

All that's left is to enjoy your nap because your misogynistic, egocentric, one step away from hitting on your head with a club and dragging you back to the cave prince will come along and magically wake you up by kissing you. While you are still asleep and without your consent to it. Umm, isn't that considered sexual harassment? Oh well, you are too stupid at this point to notice or care that your prince charming is taking advantage of young, pretty women who are passed out. Which is why step number three (the step that teaches you to be devoid of thought) is an essential one that cannot be skipped. All you need to do now is wake up and gaze at the man who will be your husband.

So why, seeing as how we have a road map to be completely happy, do we still insist on "getting to know someone"? We have been offered a sacred plan, from a man who obviously knew the meaning of life, on how to be happy. All you really need in this life is a husband that will parade you around on his arm to show all of his moronic friends what a stud he is by getting such a perfect creature to love him. Just be sure you never get old because he will leave you, and don't become intelligent or you will leave him. So thank you Walt Disney. For leaving behind your insightful perception of what a woman should really be.

Come to think of it though, cats are looking better and better!

What "The Walking Dead" Has Taught Me

So there is this show that comes on AMC called "The Walking Dead", maybe you have heard about it. If not than welcome to planet earth and I hope you are enjoying your stay here.

I began to watch the show because it was based in Atlanta. And I thought it would be fun to see what the city that I live pretty close to would look like during the apocalypse. And I wanted to see what it would look like to have one side of I-85 completely void of cars. That scared me more than the zombies, but I digress.

Of course there are obvious things from the show that every woman has learned, such as Norman Reedus is sexy as hell, and don't sleep with your "dead" husband's best friend.

But there are other subtle things I have learned that I feel the need to share.

1) Rednecks will inherit the earth.

The sexy redneck!! 

With reality shows like Hunny-Boo Boo and Duck Dynasty people from the south has experienced some pretty bad press. Not everyone who lives in the south are rednecks. However, many, many people are. Yes they may be entertaining and amusing to the more cosmopolitan and sophisticated citizens of this country, but in case of a zombie outbreak I give those people 2 days tops! They will be dead, and then undead with a quickness.

Case and point- Daryl Dixon! Women all over the country are now drooling and fantasizing about a man who is by very nature, a redneck. Now in real life, a lot of women would look at a man like Daryl and laugh about the idea of going out with him. But when the zombie apocalypse hits, it's these men that are going to have a shit load of guns, some spam cans that just happen to be laying around the house, and can kill, skin, and gut a wild animal to feed him and whoever happens to be hanging out with him. So yeah, they may seem uneducated and backward to you, but when shit hits the fan their going to be just fine.

2) Human nature is still going to be human nature.
First of all, humans are neurologically wired to be social creatures. We will seek out others. In the beginning of the series, people who were once strangers formed together to establish a tribe like culture. In times of panic, we need other people for comfort and we need a sense of belonging to something.

But then the panic subsides, and people begin to distrust other people who are not in their "tribe". That again is human nature. We do not like outsiders. No matter how trusting and tolerant you think you are I promise, in times of crises our basic instinct of survival will kick in and you will stay loyal to your "us", and distrust "them".

And just like the Governor proved, there will be people who will use a crises as a way to gain power and authority. The ability to be manipulative and power hungry doesn't disappear from our nature just because of a catastrophe. Just like in real life, some people see a disaster as a way to help others, and some see it as a way to help themselves. And if the show doesn't illustrate that enough try picking up a history book! 

Look familiar??

 

3) Dead people make for good camouflage.
In the first season Rick and Glenn find themselves trapped in the city of Atlanta surrounded by a lot of zombies. This is when we first see the usefulness that zombies can provide for hiding in a crowd. They cover themselves with the kind of gore that you would expect from a show about zombies and disguise themselves by walking slowly with them, and since they smell dead, the zombies think they are dead. But then the rain kind of ruined that and epic walker killing action ensues.

Then in season two our group finds themselves in another sticky zombie blood situation. They are trapped on  I-85 (I know that feeling!) and soon a walker herd comes their way. Daryl covers an injured T-Dog and himself with a couple of corpses that are laying around and the walkers walk right past them. Not realizing that there are two living people under the dead people. Good thing zombies are not that bright!

And then we have Michonne! She had two arm-less and jaw-less walkers in chains. (I guess everyone needs some kind of pet.) She figured out that she can walk around with them and other walkers don't bother her. Andrea learned this trick from Michonne and used it as a means to get to the prison in season three.

But please don't cross the "having a zombie chained up" line like the Governor did with Penny!

I mean who wasn't creeped out by this??